Thursday, August 11, 2011

HELL WEEK INDEED

Oh, my God. What a week this has been.
You know, at first, I didn't even consider this a hell week. Because honestly, it was--I dare to say--just a long test followed by a midterm the next day. But boy, I never expected it to be this bad.

Let me start with the 3rd Long Test. I'm going to be honest with you right from the start. I failed it by 4 points. I guess I understand why I failed that test, but what annoys me the most is that I wasn't expecting it! When I was answering that test, it didn't feel like I was getting the wrong answers, but apparently there are hidden holes that Dr. Garces planted around his questions that brought my grade way down.

After receiving our papers, needless to say we were majorly depressed. We got our results the day after we took it, which was also the day of the midterm. So after Math class, my other depressed (hopefully average as well) friends and I went over to JSEC to attempt to study. We knew we were in dire need of a pull-up grade on the midterm later that evening.

After leaving Math class, I computer for my letter grade average. Including the 3rd LT, my average was a mind-effing C, borderline D. If I cancelled the 3rd LT, it would only get up to a C or a C+. That was no 'safe zone'. I badly need a B on the midterm. It's crazy to hope for anything higher now. I remember being so depressed, sitting on one of the metal JSEC chairs, staring into nothing, my stomach wanting to vacate its contents, my head swimming filling with worry.

So I did what I always do in these situations, which I think I have already mentioned previously in this blog. I told myself it didn't matter. I could still save the world without being an ME graduate. It would take a longer time, of course haha.

So I got to know the two bloc mates I was with better: Bridget and Lizle. Well, I hang out with Lizle pretty much all the time, so I got to know Bridget. She... somehow... makes me laugh. Or she makes me want to make her laugh. I noticed that when we were studying together in the library earlier that day. I couldn't concentrate because I kept shaking with laughter at some random funny noise I made, or some stupid thing we didn't see in our solution. So anyway, I found out more about her, like she plays the violin, she's interested in Volleyball but not part of their school's varsity (like me, but now not so much), she doesn't watch Filipino movies/shows (like me, although her reason is because her family doesn't allow her to watch non-Chinese shows on TV), and her favorite color is blue.

As we left JSEC, I was feeling much happier, more carefree. Shifting to Management wasn't the worst thing that could happen to you.

Let's skip to the time after the midterm. I was feeling pretty confident, but not smart. I know I didn't get a something-to-be-proud-of grade, but I felt like I could pass this thing. Yeah... unfortunately, when I woke up at 5AM today--I have no idea why, but I had one of those Jimmy Neutron Brain Blasts. I somehow realized that 2 of my answers were incorrect, and so I lay in bed for thirty minutes cursing myself for being so carelessly stupid. That's at most 40 points down the drain. And I still had to make room for errors! The most I could get now (but improbable) would be 160/200. And I really doubt that the rest of my answers are correct. I can reduce that to 140/200. I remember Lizle telling us we needed at least 130 something to get a grade of C+ so yeah, can you understand how I'm feeling now?

But enough about the midterms and long tests. Would you believe if I said that that was not the reason I call this week 'hell'? This week has been hell for us, not because of the tests, but because of our professors.

Prior to college, I've heard of horror stories about professors who fail you just for not liking you. That was one reason I was afraid of college, actually. Another thing, professors in college are horrible teachers. Some of them may just write stuff on the board and expect you to understand it on your own like *snap*. My friends have some of those kinds of professors. But I never imagined that... what would scare the crap out of me... was a walk-out from your teacher. Walk outs are... well, something dramatic. And I never expected it to come from Dr. Garces.

I worship Dr. Garces. His talent in Math is limitless, but he manages to remain down to earth. I have the utmost respect for him, and it breaks my heart that something like this has happened.

I won't go into the details, because I'm pretty sure this is something that the person involved would want to forget. Heck, all of us would rather forget this whole thing. No one meant to disrespect Dr. Garces, if that was what he was thinking. The last thing I ever want to do is disrespect a teacher. Ever since high school, I always had and gave respect for my teachers. And only those who deserved it. Which is why, Ms. Sarmiento, if you happen to come across this blog, please know that the reason your advisory class rebelled against you is because you lost our respect. But I'm not going into that either haha.

The sad fact is, Garces was one of the nicest professors ever. People call him 'terror' but only because of his tests. He's funny, tells funny stories, and teaches us good values. Good values... perhaps that's what set him off.

Many times, he has told us that if we were smart, if we were exceptionally brilliant geniuses, then just show it on paper. Don't ever act like you're the smartest in his class. Don't ever try to show off that you know everything. I hope he knows that we would never dare do that in his class.

Another painful thing is how cheerily he left us. He left with the same "okay, so see you Monday!" sort-of smile he gave us and walked out in that cute strut he has. I couldn't tell if he was angry inside, because his face certainly didn't show it. Neither did his voice. I think he was glad of the effect he had on us. My mouth was literally open in mid-laugh. None of us thought he was serious. Only two seconds after he had walked out did it drop on us like an atomic bomb.

Perhaps it slipped his mind that it was only Thursday today, and that we were going to have a meeting tomorrow. Hopefully he did forget, because if he didn't then that would mean he doesn't want to see us tomorrow, and there's a possibility that "Monday" could be any Monday.

So the plan is, we're going to go to the class as usual tomorrow, and if he doesn't come, we'll just study on our own in the classroom. Maybe he'll pity us then. But my bloc mate asked for advice from the upperclassmen, and they said we should sit-in on another class, preferably another terror, so that we can at least learn something more difficult because Garces is bound to increase the difficulty of our tests.

It's a really depressing thought. But I can't help but feel happy about one result. A few minutes after Dr. Garces walked out, the AMF students went their separate ways, but our bloc still stayed in. We just hung around, talking. Comforting. Worrying. When one of my bloc mates, Nico, urged us to play charades. I was Game Master, so I got to choose the words they would act out. It was a great Girls vs Boys game, race to 10 points. I loved how everyone was participating in the game, every boy and every girl had a turn. The girls won, of course, and that had nothing to do with my being Game Master at all... ;)

We finished playing at 12 noon. That was the time our class was supposed to end. I headed home feeling happier than I had ever been that week (except perhaps the time when I was laughing my head off with Bridget at the library). That is, until I heard what Jesse said about the other professor ordeal.

My science subject is Chem. My other bloc mates chose Physics. Every M-W-F, we have our classes beside each other every morning. Last Wednesday, perhaps around the time my eyes were failing me and I was starting to drift off to unconsciousness, Lizle could hear yelling coming from the other room. Our rooms aren't air conditioned, so we leave the doors open. Lizle sits at the back, and the Physics room is behind ours. Apparently their teacher was having a psycho meltdown.

I also won't go into the details, because I'd rather not mention names. But I can't understand how a professor would have the decency to call two of his students 'bitches' because they were talking loudly, others 'bullshit' for asking a question, or an offensive Filipino term for 'idiot' for coming from your high school!

I can't stand it when people of a higher position think they can do whatever they want! I imagine myself in that class, seeing and hearing him call two of my bloc mates 'bitches', or calling one of the smartest and nicest guys 'bullshit', or verbally attacking a student just because he came from Philippine Science High School... and I wonder if I'd defend them. My blood boiled when my other bloc mates told me what happened. But honestly, I wouldn't do anything. In my head, I'd tell the teacher to stop it. But in reality, I'd just sit there, clenching my fists, grinding my teeth, and sending the teacher death glares.

They were talking loudly. If it bothered him that much, he should have said something beforehand rather than doing what he did! Not only that, he treated the whole class as though they were idiots. Showing them how to spell his name... The professor flipped out so much, he gave them a 100 item quiz in 15 minutes, a 1000-word essay, 7 impossible problems to solve, all due that night.

I'm comparing the Physics ordeal to the Math ordeal. Since I'm not a Physics student, I don't know everything that happened so I can't judge which situation was worse. But I know this, I feel sorry for my Physics bloc mates who also had to endure Dr. Garces' walk-out. It seems like everything's just falling apart for them.

And so I end this poorly written blog on a sad note. Sure, the bloc bonding was great, but it was just a pain-reliever, it's now back to the pain. Hopefully Garces will have a good sleep on it, and try to understand that we didn't mean anything bad by what happened. I feel sorry for my bloc mates involved, because this will forever be etched in their memory.

And through all this, one word keeps popping up... "nadamay". This is an all for one and one for all thing. We're in this together, through the good and the bad. We've yet to see if that in itself is a good thing or a bad thing.

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