The 21st of December of the year 2011

Hello again. At the moment I am enjoying my Christmas break by playing video games and getting on my mom's nerves for having a rather untidy bedroom and a closet that looks like a secret agent had recently been rummaging around, looking for something hidden deep inside.

I recently purchased a book written by one of the Math professors of Ateneo, Dr. Queena Lee-Chua. It was written (and published) long before she was married, I think, back when she was just Queena Lee. The book is entitled Eureka! and it is a compilation of various articles, researches, fan mail, etc. from her column at the Sunday Inquirer.

I purchased the book mainly because it dealt with matters regarding, what else, Math. I fancy myself a Math enthusiast, however, I do not possess the vast knowledge of numerous Mathematical ideas, nor do I have the capacity to. Frankly, with all things considered, I am a very, very, slightly-above-but-only-slightly-that-it's-negligible average Math ... student? Er...

I can only pride myself with the title of slightly-above-but-only--you get it-average Math student simply because of the fact that I got into Management Engineering so... yaay for that. But, like I said, all things considered I am just average. I don't know exactly WHY I'm telling you this, nonexistent reader, but I have an inkling it is related to the reason I bought Eureka.

And indeed it is. I bought it because I had read in the Table of Contents that the last bit was about some helpful hints and tips on how to survive the Math that I am currently undergoing. I thought it would at least be helpful. BUT this book was published, I'm guessing, in the mid to late 90's and so... yeah, there might be a lot of outdated things in there...

For example, Dr. Queena Lee-Chua's research on whether the Chinese are better suited for Math than Filipinos (or the rest of the world for that matter) or whether boys are better than girls at Math, etc. I find those articles very interesting and have come to the realization that I had it half-and-half.

The book talks a lot about "math phobia" and how students' (and parents') predispositions towards the subject may be a cause of problems in the subject itself. Looking at my educational career, I see that I have always been told by my father that I was good at Math (because I was, at least, I was good at O.B.'s Math) while my mother rarely talked about my proficiency in any subject unless it was "cards out" season. Therefore, I have no reason to have this "math phobia" because my parents never really gave me a reason to fear Math. And to be honest, the Math in OB was as easy as breathing (I may be exaggerating but that is how I see it now that I have experienced Ateneo's Math). THERE. I said it, and in saying it I have found the reason why I am only average in Math.

It is because of O.B.! Yes, let the wave of bitter rage begin! The reason I feel like shmuck in Ateneo is because I was not given enough in my high school. Our Math, though slightly more advanced that Ateneo's in terms of the vastness of its curriculum, was very simple, very straightforward, much unlike Ateneo's wherein you must THINK, and think HARD, for the solution to the problem. Also, O.B. does not offer much options. Not that I am in favor of this kind of education but O.B. doesn't have any advanced classes or anything so if you're good, you're kinda stuck in the same section as those who aren't (I totally meant no offense in that) so you don't have the chance to broaden your horizons because it would be unfair to those who cannot.

I know, I know, there are things that I could have done myself, like read up on more textbooks and stuff, but seriously, I was a high school student and I BARELY studied on Exam days, much less on regular days. Do you really think I'd go out of my way to buy a Math textbook and learn stuff? Hellz no.

But now that I am in high school and well aware of the situation I am in, I am kinda in the mood to broaden my horizons NOW. I want to learn more, I want to know about cool Math tricks like how to win at chess using Math, stuff like that. I find pleasure in the THOUGHT of doing these things, especially in laying on my bed answering exercises, but that's just it. I only THINK about it, and never actually DO it.

I am a painfully lazy person and I am not kidding. When they told me you couldn't be lazy in college and that you had to study for Math 18 a/b and Math 21, I thought

and I did! I may have started the school year answering exercises over and over, reviewing and reviewing, but towards the end I sort of gave up. And now I'm back to studying only before the test.

I am no psychologist or sociologist or anything, but I still blame these bad study habits on O.B. haha. They made it REALLY easy to get high grades. And so I never really tried. So, anyway, that's my ramble on O.B.'s system.

Oh, and you might be thinking, hey, this girl doesn't study, she should be flunking out of college, eh? Well fortunately I am NOT failing YET. As you might remember, I got a barely-passing C with Dr. Garces AND (I am actually more proud of this than I am of the grade) I passed by him in the corridor once and HE said "hi" first. I am glowing with happiness, seriously. I was planning to, of course, but he was talking to a student so I wanted to be polite and not bother him, but he saw me coming and gave me recognition. I got a C, but he is still very awesome about it.

P.S. I also got a B on my first LT in Math 21. Not exactly groundbreaking but hey, I'm doing all right.

So I don't really know what this post is about. I guess I just needed to tell someone about how I felt about Math on this day, the 21st of December of the year 2011. Hang on... in a year, wouldn't the world end on this exact date? Hahaha. Anyway. It would also be fun to look back at this when that time comes. And if ever I do... couple of things I want myself to know about how I spent the day one year before the supposed end of the world.

1. I woke up at around half past seven because my eldest brother came over to pick up Blake who slept over last night. He was still wearing his long-sleeved, soft, jammies.

2. I cleaned my bedroom and closet. Yes, the ones mentioned above.

3. I played Bleach: Soul Ignition and leveled up a lot of characters in order to unlock most of the level-up grid pathway things.

4. I watched How I Met Your Mother season 5 and 6.

5. I went on Omegle and chatted with a racist party company driver. We talked about his work for a couple of minutes and then when he asked where I was, I told him 'the Philippines' and he disconnected without another word. I don't know if he was being racist or not, but let's say he was.

6. It is the first time since I had returned home that I used the desktop and will continue the Alice episode.

7. I also read Bleach manga.

Thank you and good day.

That Awesome Moment When You Play with Toys Again

Especially boy's toys. It's a dark and stormy night here in Katipunan, my dear non-existent reader. And on this dark and stormy night, alone in my flat (apartment to you) I had done something I hadn't done since a few months ago: I played with toys.

I was just getting ready to pack up the props needed for tomorrow's play when suddenly, I realized that the bag we were using for the luggage scene was a highly conspicuous black bag. I looked around at my other props, and saw the gun and a wad of cash.

My mind's face went like this--

And then I began stuffing my bag with the money--

--the walkie-talkie--

--some handcuffs--

--the blueprint of the evil Plan--

(which zoomed in, looks like this)

--some highly poisonous suction stick-things--

--and lastly... the murder weapon.

All placed in this very suspicious black bag.

I carried that bag around my flat, thinking I was Angelina Jolie, a member of Ocean's team, getting ready to hatch the next Italian Job, with only a speaker phone to instruct me on my next mission.

So the next logical thing to do would take out the gun and the poisonous suction bullets and do some target practice with this guy:

Who I named Randy for the fat outer-portion shots , Nonna for the middle portion with the crotch shot, Esteban for the head shot, and Limbo for the 50-point gut-busting shot.

Obviously aiming for the gut-shot.

I made a video of the shot, but you'd probably just get bored with it so I decided against uploading it.

Good night!

May Katwiran ang Katwiran Practice

Today was the second to the last practice for our Filipino play. I know I've been saying the past few days that this sucks, it's a pain in the ass, and that it is because of this I wasn't able to go home for the second consecutive weekend, but I am sure I'll someday miss this.

So what better way to start missing it than to read about it in my College Blog, eh? So for the purpose of reminiscing some three or four years from now, this post and the following posts will all be regarding our Fil play practice.

First off, I would like to show you my effing awesome helicopter:

Suitable for one (1) human being.

Yes, we made that out of just one (1) Balikbayan Box. It may not look like a helicopter now (probably because the other propeller segment magically camouflaged itself with the tiled floor), but just wait and see 'til we add THIS to the combination!

Yes! You might be wondering what is a military helmet thing doing here? How is it related to a heli... hmmm. Actually, they are a lot more related than if I were holding a tiny watermelon that I pierced...

Well, anyway. After HOURS (about 20 minutes) of screwing this helmet (haha) with my brother's (it was broken when I saw it) compass, I managed to puncture a hole--

(I can see through the hole)

--enough to fit a split pin in it so that I can have THIS:

placed on top of the helmet to create THIS:

And so the propellers could actually spin. I've always wanted to do this! I hope the expectations meet up with reality, though. I finished this about an hour ago, and I could've gone down to buy the split pin but I was too lazy.

Speaking of lazy, it sucks that I have all this free time--I already memorized the opening song for the play and done the awesome job of puncturing a hole in the helmet, I have also created a spreadsheet on Google docs with a list of props and their respective prices (if applicable) so that in the end we would know how much to pay whom.

I realize now that the only thing left to do would be to text each of them individually to remind them again of the props that they need, and to wash the dishes in the sink. This is totally a productive day!

God Bless The Child

As melancholic as the title of this post is, do not worry. The title is only in reference to Michelle Featherstone's song of the same name, and not my inner depressed feelings.

The term has unofficially ended two days ago. This is a reflection on the past four or five months marked as the first college semester of my life. In order for me to do this in an organized way, I will begin by re-grading my professors/teachers. If you can recall (which I doubt you would since you are nonexistent), I posted shall I say 'advisory grades' for my teachers the first time I ever met them. And after five months of getting to know them, I can now make a more accurate evaluation.

Chem 1: General Chemistry, lecture

Sir Leo Yambot

The first teacher I had graded was Sir Leo. Yes, we call him Sir Leo. After five months, I must bring his grade down to a B. Perhaps that is because... that's the grade I expect I'm getting haha. But no, seriously. Teaching-wise I guess he's okay. He never deviated from the PPT road. He occasionally had 'demos' where he did some really quick chemistry experiments. His PPTs, which end up as PDFs on the Yahoo! Groups site, provide only the gist, and if there is a question on problem solving, the space is blank. That's not much of a problem, but I find it annoying that I can't check if my answer is correct or not.

The biggest flaw Sir Leo has is actually in his personality. He is still the same cool, chill teacher I labeled him as in my first post, but he just has such high expectations from us just because we're ME students. And he is somewhat sarcastic, though he had never displayed any acts of sarcasm. He has the ability to make you look really stupid haha. It never happened to me but... well, it's really annoying. Another thing I find impossible about him is his LE's or Long Exams. Problem solving is easy, it's a wuss, but when it comes to the multiple choice... it's EASY, but somehow my answers are incorrect. And the problem with that is he only gives us back our answer keys, but not the questionnaire, so I don't have the option to complain if ever there were a mistake or something.

Grade: B

For future students: He's not totally hard. You just have to study and have a background in Chem that's already good. I didn't study as hard as I'd like to have, but I had a pretty decent background in Chem from High school. If you have him at 7h30AM like I did then try not to fall asleep. Or maybe that was only me... if he feels the class isn't listening he's gonna give you a quiz or ask you a lightning-speed question that will make you feel stupid if you weren't able to answer it. He somewhat scorns the smart students (Ryan Yu especially) I have no idea why.

Chem 2: General Chemistry, laboratory

Eunice Biteng

I gave her an advisory grade of B+ the first time I met her, which I now up to an A. That's also not because I got an A, okay! There seems to be a trend but it will break in the next one.

Ma'am Eunice--actually that's not what we call her at all, I bet only about 3% of the class know her actual name without looking it up at AISIS--is awesome! I thought she'd be moody but she remained consistent all throughout. She's not an OJ teacher, but neither is she grumpy. She wears an expression on her face that makes her seem angry and unapproachable, especially since she's always fanning herself with whatever's on her hand (it's not *that* hot in the lab...). But she makes the occasional, light joke and she prefers NOT to make final exams so she tries to give everyone an A.

In Chem lab, we have a workbook thing with lab reports at the end of every experiment. So the trend goes, we do the experiment and pass the lab report the next week. Our lab report isn't, like, an essay or research paper-type thing. It's a table of data that we fill out while doing the experiment, with some short essay questions about the principles involved in the experiment. It's really hard to fail it, but you won't always get perfect. Take note, I said 'perfect'. Usually these things are out of 30-40. If you didn't get 40 (which is, if you think about it, REALLY easy to get) you'd just get like 39 or 38. You must be really dumb already if you get like, 28. No offense.

Grade: A

For future students: She's a gem. If you do the experiments correctly, submit your lab reports with substantial answers from legit resources (that are cited), you'd get an A for sure. Even if you'd get low on her midterm and reporting. I got a 28/40, bombed the reporting because of lack of research outside the book, but I still got an A. In our class, only 5 people weren't fully exempted from the midterm. Three of those five were B+, exempted with the option to take the test risk-free, and the other two really had to take it.

Math 18 a/b: Principles of Modern Mathematics I/II

Dr. Ian June L. Garces

Oh, dear Lord. I can't explain this. If you're *really* brilliant in Math, you'd find him enjoyable because he challenges you. But if you're scraping the bottom like I am, you're gonna have a hard time keeping your head above water. But this is on the academic level. As a person, Dr. Garces is an absolute delight. The fear I felt the first time I met him, and the dread I felt of meeting him again everyday, was replaced by... eagerness to see him everyday. He was never mean and he is very virtuous, you know? He's firm in his beliefs and he believes in what's good and that it doesn't matter if you're smart, as long as you do the right thing always. He also makes a lot of jokes, and when he laughs or smiles you just feel like laughing and smiling with him too.

The grade I decided to give him is a B+. And obviously, it is not my grade, it's not even close haha. I cannot give him an A because it's sometimes confusing when he discusses since he doesn't follow the book. And he's also very sensitive, so you always have to be careful of what you say and how you act because he can just threaten to walk out of your class. There isn't much I can say about him.

Grade: B+

For the future students: You've all heard it, he's a terror, he's a terror. Don't take that into heart because he's actually really nice. Just be careful of what you say. Do NOT be noisy in his class, don't hum or sing, don't EVER interrupt him unless you raise your hand to ask a question. His tests will be hard. If you love Math, you'll appreciate him because he loves it, too. He gives you a lot of fun Math trivia. If you're afraid you're not that good at Math, just... keep calm and keep swimming haha. You'll get out of the water eventually. And if by chance, you were eaten by a shark or something, you can't say you didn't try.

English 11: Communication in English I

Sir Roy Agustin

First of all, I retain my grade of an A. He is still by far the coolest teacher I've had. He reminds me of Ted Mosby Bob Saget version. He always has some interesting sings to say albeit rather repetitive. You do learn a lot from him because he knows what he's doing. The only problem is that he gives relatively low grades. He never gives an A. He gives B's if it was okay and B+'s to those who have both depth and content. But the fact that he doesn't give A's... kind of doesn't make me want to lower his grade haha. My expected grade for this subject is a B because that was my advisory grade, and he has nothing else to base our grades on besides our feature article, evaluation paper and the bonus magazine. I realize we only had like four or five papers the entire semester.

I'm happy to say he's still my teacher next sem, yes, I said happy. I may not get an A, but there's always the saying that it's not about the grades, but it's about the learning, right? And I don't know if I'd learn as much with another teacher. He has had a lot of odd jobs, that I find amusing. Of them he mentioned: working for his dad's construction company, overseeing the remodeling of fancy hotels in Manila (where he had numerous encounters with ghosts, he can't see them but there's always a construction worker that can), working for his dad's laundry company (where he got into a verbal fight with a customer who complained that the lady my teacher's dad's company sent was rude), and as an editor for a bunch of books. I guess the last one isn't that odd.

Grade: A

For future students: If you're in it for the A, avoid him if possible. If you wanna have fun in class and have your teacher sit on the teachers table and talk about interesting stories, then he's good for you. He's an alumni, so he can tell you about what's hidden under the Church of the Gesu ;)

Lit 13: Introduction to Fiction

Miss Rachelle Torreon

I also upped her grade from a B+ to an A because she's awesome. She's very nice. In our class, we're always laughing (most times though not with her). She doesn't like noise but she can take it up to a certain level, and then she'll get mad. She thinks all your ideas are good, regardless if they are incorrect haha. She's one of those teachers who communicate with their students well. She likes all students. I think partly why our class is very fun is because of her chemistry with Mark Koa hahaha. It's nothing romantic. Mark makes a comment and Miss Torreon gives him a glare and we all laugh. You had to be there. Oh, and she's also my Lit 14 teacher next sem--yay!

Grade: A

For future students: She's great. Try not to make fun of her (oh, you will find the opportunity) because she's really doing a good job. You can push her, just make sure you know where the line is. Wait, don't LITERALLY push her. You can push her to curve your grades (although this theory still needs proof, we only managed it once when she gave back our quizzes and seatworks). HAHAHA what a coincidence, she just accepted my friend request on Facebook.

Fil 11: Sining... blabla.. Pakikipagtalastasan... blabla

Dr. Michael M. Coroza

I never gave him a grade, but I'll give him a... B, I guess. He's not terrible, though. Actually my first impression (without seeing him yet) was that he was a terror prof because according to my TLC, Aldrich, he was one. He was arrogant, and he digressed from the topic a lot, which was true. But week after week of more Coroza I began to kinda like him. Sure, he did digress A LOT. We'd be talking about one thing and end up talking about Titanic. He is arrogant but in the joking way, like, "Well, I did win a Palanca award..." and stuff like that. A bad thing about him is that, compared to my other friends taking Fill 11, he has no... curriculum or something. He has a syllabus but it's just about ten pages of suggested readings and how we should write our papers. He doesn't follow any flow. The closest thing to a flow was he gave us copies of all his favorite poems and then we'd discuss them every meeting. But then he'd end up digressing again and ask us to watch Forrest Gump. True story.

Grade: B

For future students: If, like me, you're not good at Filipino, you'd have a hard time but it's manageable. You do your papers at home so there's Google Translate for that. And for the seatworks well, you're on your own. But they say that it doesn't matter how deep your words are, as long as they contain the stuff you want to say. Hopefully he will see that in my final exam... oh, and he asked us to do a play and scheduled it on the first Monday of the semester, thank you very much for that.

PE 106: Table Tennis

Dr. (?) Alex Torres

Yes, I was shocked, too because he mentioned he was a doctor on the last meeting. I'm definitely sure he didn't mean Doctor of Medicine haha. He's the best PE teacher ever! My expected grade is A, but since it doesn't affect the QPI I wouldn't mind getting a B+. But I think I deserve an A because during the tournament I only lost twice, once to Gillian... er... Yap? No, no... Tan? Er.. it's something Chinese anyway. And the other time was to Promil Kid. They call her Promil Kid because she's an amateur table tennis player, I THINK. She could be professional, but I don't know. And when I fought Promil Kid, I got up to THIRD SET. Yeah, yeah. Haha. But sir wasn't there to see me, I think :( But anyway, it was definitely worth it.

Grade: A

For future students: If you don't get him, you're weird. And not in the good way. If you totally suck at hand-eye-coordination or just table tennis in particular, don't worry because he never gives a grade lower than a B. However, my friend Cha is one of the lower players--haha no offense, Cha--so after she gets her grade, I'll get back to you.

Well, that's it for my first semester teachers. Stay tuned for my next sem teachers!

By the way, I'm supposed to be studying for my Chem finals, but ughhhhh.

What was, what is, and what will be

No, don't worry, this is not a lesson in grammar (as much as I'd like to give a few to certain others), but--from what can be deduced from the title--it is the past, the present, and the future. Well, not in totality, of course. Just from a few days back to a few days forward.

The Past

This past week has been depressing, mainly due to receiving our advisory grades. Turns out I'm not doing so well. I just remembered that Honors Programs require a minimum of 2.5 QPI, and so far, I haven't reached that. Tan-tun-tuuuun. Well, I'm a 2.3--oh wait! I just computed, I'm a 2.53... that can't be right... well of course, I'd love to reach the minimum QPI. Well, anyway. It's only the advisory grades (they say), the final marks will be far from these (they say). I just have to work hard (ugh, typical) and do my best.

So I got a C in Chem lecture. Yeah. It's Chem lecture! And it's EASY! It's not super easy, but it's not something you get a C for. I know the answer to my C, by the way. And it ticks me off, too. You see, our seat works are made 'by pair', meaning you and your seat mate work on usually one or two problems each. You can already see where this is going. My seatmate is, to be polite, as duller than a rubber ball. And I don't mean dull as boring.

So imagine this, we're given five minutes to answer the two questions (per pair so that's just one question). I take the five minutes for my own question, of course, the teacher never makes it easy so I do need my time. I finish, look over to check if she's done, she gives me a blank look and asks me what to do. I cram the last few minutes to answer her, but of course I can't write the answer myself (we sit at the front, right in my teacher's line of sight) so I have to wait for her to write it down and then check, and then tell her what to do next, wait for her to calculate, wait for her to check her Periodic Table before I tell her the charge of Oxygen is -2.

Most of the time, I'm unable to help her in the time left so majority of OUR scores are only 50%, and sometimes a little more because of partial points. So, naturally, that merits a grade of C. And my 1st LE didn't go flawlessly, I only got a B, so that's still a C (somehow).

Big SIGH...

I think my teacher understands my situation now, though, because on the last paired seat work he only gave 1 item to work together with and I did it all on my own and just explained it to her afterward. And he may have noticed that my grade is a C, even though I know what I'm doing.

So that's the highlight of my advisory grades. Oh, and I got a C in Filipino--I was expecting a D. But yeah, Coroza curves well. I also got a C in Math (expected), and A in Chem Lab (soon to go down because of that disastrous lab reporting), and B's in English and Lit. My Lit grade is expected to be raised to an A because our beloved Ms. Torreon curved most of our seat works and quizzes. Also, she is currently rechecking our Midterm and gave no grade lower than a 7/10 in the essay portion. And based on the answers she discussed, I have gotten most correct.

The Present

The 4th Math LT is over, and I'm feeling slightly confident. I got some answers (I think) and I'm just eager for the results. I don't want to jinx it, or get my hopes too high, so I'll avoid talking about it here. Sorry for bringing it up in the first place, you just needed to know the present.

Tonight, we OB kids are having dinner at Shakey's for... nothing really. It's not really the celebration of Alex's birthday (tomorrow), it's probably like a celebration of the end of their 2nd LT and their midterm (also tomorrow), though 'celebration' may not be the right word.

We don't have the same Math, BTW. Mine is still Math 18.

There are some things I have to do today, like check how the Canadian Dollar is faring in the market (for AIESEC), and read The Company of Wolves (for Lit). Also, the last 2 days have been spent with minimal to virtually no Facebook, in preparation for my 4th LT. And I found it nice, studying more.

Proof of this: I spent last Monday afternoon reading my Filipino--take note, FILIPINO--hand-out to prepare for the following day's discussion on the poem 'Kahit Saan'. I read that thing like a boss! I understood every line, every metaphor, etc. Our prof came up late last Tuesday because of traffic, so today was supposed to be our first meeting for the week, but he didn't show up instead he sent his--what I like to imagine, "understudy" and she wrote down the exercise he left for us.

So earlier today, when I was packing my bag, I took out my purple folder where I keep all the readings (papers) because I know we don't have English or Lit today, so it would just be dead weight. I totally forgot that my Filipino hand-out was there as well, so I answered the seat work without my notes, but thank goodness I had spent all those hours studying 'Kahit Saan' so I didn't need it at all. I may have missed one metaphor about the bird, but since they were all saying the same thing, I don't think it mattered.

So moral of the story is: I'm going to start studying now.

Odd. I tried that back in high school, ended up stopping because I was effortlessly flying through rainbows then. Now is a different thing, I bet.

The (Near) Future

So on Monday, I am going to Marquee Mall to meet up with my high school batch mates. It's gonna be the first time to see some of them since graduation. I'm very excited to see Jill again.

This weekend is also a long, four-day one. And I am so happy about that. There is no long test to review for, so I can relax all four days. Unfortunately, this is the last scheduled holiday for the term. Unless of course, a major storm hits us and classes are further cancelled. Not that I... would want that to happen...

Of course, I need to plan my weekend accordingly. I can't afford to waste time. I'd love to play tennis, but Paolo isn't returning home until Sunday evening. I think I will start planning my weekend tomorrow after INTACT.

That's all for today. See you next time.

HELL WEEK INDEED

Oh, my God. What a week this has been.
You know, at first, I didn't even consider this a hell week. Because honestly, it was--I dare to say--just a long test followed by a midterm the next day. But boy, I never expected it to be this bad.

Let me start with the 3rd Long Test. I'm going to be honest with you right from the start. I failed it by 4 points. I guess I understand why I failed that test, but what annoys me the most is that I wasn't expecting it! When I was answering that test, it didn't feel like I was getting the wrong answers, but apparently there are hidden holes that Dr. Garces planted around his questions that brought my grade way down.

After receiving our papers, needless to say we were majorly depressed. We got our results the day after we took it, which was also the day of the midterm. So after Math class, my other depressed (hopefully average as well) friends and I went over to JSEC to attempt to study. We knew we were in dire need of a pull-up grade on the midterm later that evening.

After leaving Math class, I computer for my letter grade average. Including the 3rd LT, my average was a mind-effing C, borderline D. If I cancelled the 3rd LT, it would only get up to a C or a C+. That was no 'safe zone'. I badly need a B on the midterm. It's crazy to hope for anything higher now. I remember being so depressed, sitting on one of the metal JSEC chairs, staring into nothing, my stomach wanting to vacate its contents, my head swimming filling with worry.

So I did what I always do in these situations, which I think I have already mentioned previously in this blog. I told myself it didn't matter. I could still save the world without being an ME graduate. It would take a longer time, of course haha.

So I got to know the two bloc mates I was with better: Bridget and Lizle. Well, I hang out with Lizle pretty much all the time, so I got to know Bridget. She... somehow... makes me laugh. Or she makes me want to make her laugh. I noticed that when we were studying together in the library earlier that day. I couldn't concentrate because I kept shaking with laughter at some random funny noise I made, or some stupid thing we didn't see in our solution. So anyway, I found out more about her, like she plays the violin, she's interested in Volleyball but not part of their school's varsity (like me, but now not so much), she doesn't watch Filipino movies/shows (like me, although her reason is because her family doesn't allow her to watch non-Chinese shows on TV), and her favorite color is blue.

As we left JSEC, I was feeling much happier, more carefree. Shifting to Management wasn't the worst thing that could happen to you.

Let's skip to the time after the midterm. I was feeling pretty confident, but not smart. I know I didn't get a something-to-be-proud-of grade, but I felt like I could pass this thing. Yeah... unfortunately, when I woke up at 5AM today--I have no idea why, but I had one of those Jimmy Neutron Brain Blasts. I somehow realized that 2 of my answers were incorrect, and so I lay in bed for thirty minutes cursing myself for being so carelessly stupid. That's at most 40 points down the drain. And I still had to make room for errors! The most I could get now (but improbable) would be 160/200. And I really doubt that the rest of my answers are correct. I can reduce that to 140/200. I remember Lizle telling us we needed at least 130 something to get a grade of C+ so yeah, can you understand how I'm feeling now?

But enough about the midterms and long tests. Would you believe if I said that that was not the reason I call this week 'hell'? This week has been hell for us, not because of the tests, but because of our professors.

Prior to college, I've heard of horror stories about professors who fail you just for not liking you. That was one reason I was afraid of college, actually. Another thing, professors in college are horrible teachers. Some of them may just write stuff on the board and expect you to understand it on your own like *snap*. My friends have some of those kinds of professors. But I never imagined that... what would scare the crap out of me... was a walk-out from your teacher. Walk outs are... well, something dramatic. And I never expected it to come from Dr. Garces.

I worship Dr. Garces. His talent in Math is limitless, but he manages to remain down to earth. I have the utmost respect for him, and it breaks my heart that something like this has happened.

I won't go into the details, because I'm pretty sure this is something that the person involved would want to forget. Heck, all of us would rather forget this whole thing. No one meant to disrespect Dr. Garces, if that was what he was thinking. The last thing I ever want to do is disrespect a teacher. Ever since high school, I always had and gave respect for my teachers. And only those who deserved it. Which is why, Ms. Sarmiento, if you happen to come across this blog, please know that the reason your advisory class rebelled against you is because you lost our respect. But I'm not going into that either haha.

The sad fact is, Garces was one of the nicest professors ever. People call him 'terror' but only because of his tests. He's funny, tells funny stories, and teaches us good values. Good values... perhaps that's what set him off.

Many times, he has told us that if we were smart, if we were exceptionally brilliant geniuses, then just show it on paper. Don't ever act like you're the smartest in his class. Don't ever try to show off that you know everything. I hope he knows that we would never dare do that in his class.

Another painful thing is how cheerily he left us. He left with the same "okay, so see you Monday!" sort-of smile he gave us and walked out in that cute strut he has. I couldn't tell if he was angry inside, because his face certainly didn't show it. Neither did his voice. I think he was glad of the effect he had on us. My mouth was literally open in mid-laugh. None of us thought he was serious. Only two seconds after he had walked out did it drop on us like an atomic bomb.

Perhaps it slipped his mind that it was only Thursday today, and that we were going to have a meeting tomorrow. Hopefully he did forget, because if he didn't then that would mean he doesn't want to see us tomorrow, and there's a possibility that "Monday" could be any Monday.

So the plan is, we're going to go to the class as usual tomorrow, and if he doesn't come, we'll just study on our own in the classroom. Maybe he'll pity us then. But my bloc mate asked for advice from the upperclassmen, and they said we should sit-in on another class, preferably another terror, so that we can at least learn something more difficult because Garces is bound to increase the difficulty of our tests.

It's a really depressing thought. But I can't help but feel happy about one result. A few minutes after Dr. Garces walked out, the AMF students went their separate ways, but our bloc still stayed in. We just hung around, talking. Comforting. Worrying. When one of my bloc mates, Nico, urged us to play charades. I was Game Master, so I got to choose the words they would act out. It was a great Girls vs Boys game, race to 10 points. I loved how everyone was participating in the game, every boy and every girl had a turn. The girls won, of course, and that had nothing to do with my being Game Master at all... ;)

We finished playing at 12 noon. That was the time our class was supposed to end. I headed home feeling happier than I had ever been that week (except perhaps the time when I was laughing my head off with Bridget at the library). That is, until I heard what Jesse said about the other professor ordeal.

My science subject is Chem. My other bloc mates chose Physics. Every M-W-F, we have our classes beside each other every morning. Last Wednesday, perhaps around the time my eyes were failing me and I was starting to drift off to unconsciousness, Lizle could hear yelling coming from the other room. Our rooms aren't air conditioned, so we leave the doors open. Lizle sits at the back, and the Physics room is behind ours. Apparently their teacher was having a psycho meltdown.

I also won't go into the details, because I'd rather not mention names. But I can't understand how a professor would have the decency to call two of his students 'bitches' because they were talking loudly, others 'bullshit' for asking a question, or an offensive Filipino term for 'idiot' for coming from your high school!

I can't stand it when people of a higher position think they can do whatever they want! I imagine myself in that class, seeing and hearing him call two of my bloc mates 'bitches', or calling one of the smartest and nicest guys 'bullshit', or verbally attacking a student just because he came from Philippine Science High School... and I wonder if I'd defend them. My blood boiled when my other bloc mates told me what happened. But honestly, I wouldn't do anything. In my head, I'd tell the teacher to stop it. But in reality, I'd just sit there, clenching my fists, grinding my teeth, and sending the teacher death glares.

They were talking loudly. If it bothered him that much, he should have said something beforehand rather than doing what he did! Not only that, he treated the whole class as though they were idiots. Showing them how to spell his name... The professor flipped out so much, he gave them a 100 item quiz in 15 minutes, a 1000-word essay, 7 impossible problems to solve, all due that night.

I'm comparing the Physics ordeal to the Math ordeal. Since I'm not a Physics student, I don't know everything that happened so I can't judge which situation was worse. But I know this, I feel sorry for my Physics bloc mates who also had to endure Dr. Garces' walk-out. It seems like everything's just falling apart for them.

And so I end this poorly written blog on a sad note. Sure, the bloc bonding was great, but it was just a pain-reliever, it's now back to the pain. Hopefully Garces will have a good sleep on it, and try to understand that we didn't mean anything bad by what happened. I feel sorry for my bloc mates involved, because this will forever be etched in their memory.

And through all this, one word keeps popping up... "nadamay". This is an all for one and one for all thing. We're in this together, through the good and the bad. We've yet to see if that in itself is a good thing or a bad thing.

Pre-Midterm

In less than 12 hours, I will be having my first midterm in Math 18. We all know how hard that's gonna be. However, last night, I was answering the previous Midterms and one (if I'm not mistaken, it was the '08-'09 one) was so easy! I was able to answer most of the questions without needing to check if I was on the right track. I was surprised at how easy it was, and also afraid because I may lower my expectations for the midterm. I have a four-hour break in the morning, so I'm going to dedicate that to studying with my blocmates.

I must agree with what my English seatmate and friend, Sarah, said about Math for ME's last Monday. It does seem that ME students (the freshmen) think Math is the only subject they are taking. The rest are just easy, so focus on Math, right? Yeah, if only life were that simple...

Thank God my Lit teacher gave us a free cut so that we may have an hour to prepare for the midterm since our Lit class ends at 4:30 and our midterm was scheduled at 4:30 as well. To make things worse, our Lit class was at Bellarmine. Every Atenean knows that Bel is the farthest building from civilization.

I'm going to start getting ready in a few minutes. I don't feel like reviewing much anymore. I'm getting that feeling in high school, the feeling that, if you know all the concepts (in Math), you don't need to study anymore. I wonder what changed for college Math. I understand the concepts. I guess it's just that the questions have a clever way of making the concepts as useless as a sponge in a flood.

So anyway, wish me luck!