Dream a Little Dream (less weird)

Despite the fact that I have four blogs, I couldn't find a place to put this in. The Weird Bunch blog just recently published the Alice Part II episode and I didn't want to overpower or mask that post with this one. My Theory of Life blog has nothing to do with dreams, and the Story of My Life blog is private (although it addresses readers) and since this dream was related to college, I thought, why not here?

At the risk of masking last night's post about Childhood, here is the weird dream I had:

The first thing you need to know is that, in this dream, I am extremely sick. I had the whole respiratory congestion going on, and I remember I looked in the mirror and saw that the bottom lining of my eyeballs were blood-red and my cheeks and throat had swollen up so bad that I looked like Monica in the fat suit.

Another thing you should know is that I was in college already, obviously, and that I was living in a place I shared with--here's the weird and random part--my TLC from MEA's Prep Course, Bea. Well, anyway, I remember being really sick that I was asleep for most of the day.

The reason I said "place I shared" is because we seemed to be living in a house because after one particularly long sleep, I awoke in my bed, which was near a window, and pulled aside the curtain to look outside and see the dark outline of Bea ringing the doorbell (as though she had forgotten her keys). I only saw the blurry and dark outline because my eyes were also swollen shut.

Somehow I let her in with a push of a button and went back to sleep. When I woke up, I looked in the mirror (that's when I found my face all messed up) and was devastated. I then went outside my room and saw that the whole place was cleaned up. I had no basis on what it looked like before, but it was obviously cleaned up. In the dream, it was assumed that Bea had done it, which is very nice of dream-version Bea, so thank you, dream-version Bea. She had also resupplied stuff like milk and some biscuits (like my Mom does... that's weird).

But when I had gone out, she was gone. I guessed she went to school already. There were some transitions... I went on Facebook... and then BAM, I realized I was late for my Math LT! I thought it was a Thursday and it was already 12:45 PM. I realize now that my Math during Thursdays is scheduled at 10:00, but in my dream it was at 1:00, I think. I could have made it by immediately going down (this contradicts the earlier moment when I thought I was in a house) and taking a trike straight to school, but then I'd have skipped a shower and not to mention, I'd have gone to school with a freakish face.

Then I realized I could have gotten the dates wrong, and that it was only Wednesday. So I checked on my computer and indeed, it was only Wednesday. It was the first day back to school. I realized I had cut Biotech that morning and was in the process of missing Math class. Math class during Wednesdays are at 12:30. I then panicked a bit because the lesson that day might've been crucial to the LT the next day, but there was no helping it; I had missed Math class and that was it.

So I decided to get ready and attend EngLit. At least I wouldn't have cut the whole day. So after I took a refreshing shower, I looked in the mirror again and saw that my face size had reduced significantly, but my eyes were still bloody.

I got to school and felt sick as ever and I found myself lying on a sofa in a dark room with full-length windows (Imagine the Rizal Library Information Commons without all the computers and with the lights off at sunset). Sir Roy had us doing a singing contest (like in Glee) and there were three groups.

I was exempted because I was in Marching Band, yes, we had gone back to being in HS, but I chose to help one group (which I did back in the Rock Band project for Music class back in HS) of my friends. I don't remember who was in the group in the dream because it was very blurry.

Anyway, I was so tired and my head felt so heavy that I ended up falling asleep while they performed but subconsciously listening to the three groups' singing. In my head I knew that our group (who sang 2nd) was the best; they sang an energetic, bubbly, happy song while the guys (who came before them) sang an emo song, I think, and the girls who came after them sang one of those dramatically long Celine Dion-esque songs.

I knew I was going to be the one to decide who wins, because I was exempted (I don't know why). Also, I knew that my group was thinking I wouldn't choose them because of what happend last time (fictionally, in the dream). Apparently, last time there was a competition like this, I chose the other team to win because they were better. But this time, in my heart, I knew that my group was the best.

I never got to announce the winner because the scene changed again and I found myself in front of a mirror in a make-up room (think behind the scenes) and my dad had called and asked why there was a girl living in my house/flat, and I told him we were dorming together since the beginning, but she usually went to sleepovers and stuff that he had never noticed her actually being there. My dad also noted that she had resupplied the fridge and stuff and I said yes.

Obviously he wanted me to do something nice for her, too, so I said I'd buy her some dinner to-go. I think I bought Yellow Cab because it came in a nice brown paper bag and I put a sticky note with 'Thank you' written on it and left it on the dining table. I remember I did this for my brother (without the note) on the night before he flipped out on me because he thought I changed his password.

I think that was where the dream ended. The weirdest thing was that it was Bea, the second was that I had thought I missed the Long Test, and the third was that I was sick when it could have just been a really big allergy attack.

Childhood... and other thoughts on bird-shooting, young love, and manipulating fruits.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about childhood memories. Obviously 9GAG has been a great influence. They have this thing called the "90's kids" which I am technically not, because I was born in '94 and so I'd missed more than half of the 90's altogether.

But never mind that. Whether or not you are a 90's kid, you still have childhood memories. Heck, my dad's childhood memories are those of shooting birds outside and playing with wild animals (he is that old). My childhood memories consist mainly of cartoons, video games, and habits (as observed by 9GAGGERS worldwide).

Recently I've delved into a particular childhood memory: Digimon. Well, to be fair, only Digimon Tamers, the 3rd series/season. I wasn't old enough to reach (funny how backwards that is, eh? How could I have 'reached' it, go back in time?) the first two seasons which, judging by YouTube comments and my brother--and the fact that I haven't seen them, were the best.

Just listening to the opening and ending theme song was enough. It's that feeling... that feeling of clarity, and, oddly, cleanliness (or perhaps purity) I get when I reminisce. I feel like a kid again and I don't really know why. Maybe it because the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders and for one fleeting moment, you haven't a care in the world about anything.

So then it got me thinking about the other posts in 9GAG, about how the children are today with their Facebook accounts, their iPods, make-up, and way-too-young-to-have relationships and their knowledge of profane language (these may be just Americans, but I don't know). If I ever get a chance to stand in front of an audience filled with these kids, I'd tell them to cherish their childhood days, REGARDLESS of whether it's unlike the 90's kids' or mine. Just as long as they don't stress themselves out because of it.

Different generations have different childhoods. As I mentioned earlier, my dad's had him hunting birds and coming home from school to make his own snacks out of stuff he picked in the wilderness (jeez, how old is he?). I remember him telling me one day that he was proud to be one of the only families in his village (village? Is that right?) with a TV. In my generation, every family has a TV. If you don't, you're either poor or your parents wanted you to study like hell and probably received news from newspapers and stuff.

So back to my point: cherish your childhood and don't try to rush into growing up because I gotta say, and many experts will agree with me on this, sometimes (but almost always) growing up sucks. As usual, "no pain, no gain." I really don't know if it's true that kids can't wait to grow up, but if they do, that's really something you should think about.

The greatest thing about being a kid is simply that you had no worries.

When I was a kid, I had weird worries. But who knows, maybe someone on 9GAG had the same worries as I had. I worried about school a lot. Not my grades (pfft) but about how people thought of me, especially my teachers. If I had said or done something that day, I would stay up at night thinking about how a other people would see it through their own eyes. Like if I had said something out of line (which wasn't unusual despite the fact that I was an extremely shy kid) I would worry about whether my teachers' opinions of me would change, whether they would see me as a rebellious kid or whether they would see me as 'outspoken' (it has happened, people).

I also did a regular check-up on my dad by asking myself "what do I have to worry about?" And the answers usually ranged from 'are Paolo and I still friends tomorrow' to 'how will I get out of doing my Filipino homework tomorrow.' Yes, I once lied to my teacher and told her that I had left my workbook in school, which was why I was "unable" to do my homework--I AM SO SORRY, MRS. DIMLA BUT REST ASSURED IT WAS ONLY THAT ONE TIME. And to prove my remorse, I still think about that day seven years ago.

Anyway... the worries I have now? Well, I am still a college student but the worries are now ALL about school work. 'Will I pass the long test?', 'what if my topic isn't approved?', 'I can't think of anything to write!', 'I'm not good at writing in Filipino, how the hell am I supposed to publish two essays?'

I am quite thankful I don't go through normal adolescent problems concerning relationships and what I believe to be "bland and untrue" love. I consider myself very naive on that topic. BUT I don't ditch the idea of finding love at a young age, so don't misunderstand me. My eldest brother actually met his wife back in high school. He went to college in ADMU while she stayed in Pampanga and studied in HAU but they stayed together for years. And now I have a nephew whom I bought a P3,000 motorcycle for.

I'm straying off topic...

Main point--again: Don't be in a hurry to grow up because you'll find out soon enough that you WILL be missing the days when everything was just soooo easy. BUT you can hurry growing up in terms of, like, being more responsible, learning to pay the bills and stuff... I'm contradicting myself a lot so I never really get to lay a solid point.

But life's like that isn't it? As I've told my best friend once, you can't really say what's going to happen five, ten years from now. Life's what you make it (I just realized that line is in Hannah Montana's song) and whatever it throws at you (like lemons), it's up to you to figure out whether it's a blessing (lemonade) or you know... bad luck that can turn into something great (turned out to be an oblong grapefruit so you made an apple pie).

*clap* *clap* *clap* what a great philosophical ending.

The 21st of December of the year 2011

Hello again. At the moment I am enjoying my Christmas break by playing video games and getting on my mom's nerves for having a rather untidy bedroom and a closet that looks like a secret agent had recently been rummaging around, looking for something hidden deep inside.

I recently purchased a book written by one of the Math professors of Ateneo, Dr. Queena Lee-Chua. It was written (and published) long before she was married, I think, back when she was just Queena Lee. The book is entitled Eureka! and it is a compilation of various articles, researches, fan mail, etc. from her column at the Sunday Inquirer.

I purchased the book mainly because it dealt with matters regarding, what else, Math. I fancy myself a Math enthusiast, however, I do not possess the vast knowledge of numerous Mathematical ideas, nor do I have the capacity to. Frankly, with all things considered, I am a very, very, slightly-above-but-only-slightly-that-it's-negligible average Math ... student? Er...

I can only pride myself with the title of slightly-above-but-only--you get it-average Math student simply because of the fact that I got into Management Engineering so... yaay for that. But, like I said, all things considered I am just average. I don't know exactly WHY I'm telling you this, nonexistent reader, but I have an inkling it is related to the reason I bought Eureka.

And indeed it is. I bought it because I had read in the Table of Contents that the last bit was about some helpful hints and tips on how to survive the Math that I am currently undergoing. I thought it would at least be helpful. BUT this book was published, I'm guessing, in the mid to late 90's and so... yeah, there might be a lot of outdated things in there...

For example, Dr. Queena Lee-Chua's research on whether the Chinese are better suited for Math than Filipinos (or the rest of the world for that matter) or whether boys are better than girls at Math, etc. I find those articles very interesting and have come to the realization that I had it half-and-half.

The book talks a lot about "math phobia" and how students' (and parents') predispositions towards the subject may be a cause of problems in the subject itself. Looking at my educational career, I see that I have always been told by my father that I was good at Math (because I was, at least, I was good at O.B.'s Math) while my mother rarely talked about my proficiency in any subject unless it was "cards out" season. Therefore, I have no reason to have this "math phobia" because my parents never really gave me a reason to fear Math. And to be honest, the Math in OB was as easy as breathing (I may be exaggerating but that is how I see it now that I have experienced Ateneo's Math). THERE. I said it, and in saying it I have found the reason why I am only average in Math.

It is because of O.B.! Yes, let the wave of bitter rage begin! The reason I feel like shmuck in Ateneo is because I was not given enough in my high school. Our Math, though slightly more advanced that Ateneo's in terms of the vastness of its curriculum, was very simple, very straightforward, much unlike Ateneo's wherein you must THINK, and think HARD, for the solution to the problem. Also, O.B. does not offer much options. Not that I am in favor of this kind of education but O.B. doesn't have any advanced classes or anything so if you're good, you're kinda stuck in the same section as those who aren't (I totally meant no offense in that) so you don't have the chance to broaden your horizons because it would be unfair to those who cannot.

I know, I know, there are things that I could have done myself, like read up on more textbooks and stuff, but seriously, I was a high school student and I BARELY studied on Exam days, much less on regular days. Do you really think I'd go out of my way to buy a Math textbook and learn stuff? Hellz no.

But now that I am in high school and well aware of the situation I am in, I am kinda in the mood to broaden my horizons NOW. I want to learn more, I want to know about cool Math tricks like how to win at chess using Math, stuff like that. I find pleasure in the THOUGHT of doing these things, especially in laying on my bed answering exercises, but that's just it. I only THINK about it, and never actually DO it.

I am a painfully lazy person and I am not kidding. When they told me you couldn't be lazy in college and that you had to study for Math 18 a/b and Math 21, I thought

and I did! I may have started the school year answering exercises over and over, reviewing and reviewing, but towards the end I sort of gave up. And now I'm back to studying only before the test.

I am no psychologist or sociologist or anything, but I still blame these bad study habits on O.B. haha. They made it REALLY easy to get high grades. And so I never really tried. So, anyway, that's my ramble on O.B.'s system.

Oh, and you might be thinking, hey, this girl doesn't study, she should be flunking out of college, eh? Well fortunately I am NOT failing YET. As you might remember, I got a barely-passing C with Dr. Garces AND (I am actually more proud of this than I am of the grade) I passed by him in the corridor once and HE said "hi" first. I am glowing with happiness, seriously. I was planning to, of course, but he was talking to a student so I wanted to be polite and not bother him, but he saw me coming and gave me recognition. I got a C, but he is still very awesome about it.

P.S. I also got a B on my first LT in Math 21. Not exactly groundbreaking but hey, I'm doing all right.

So I don't really know what this post is about. I guess I just needed to tell someone about how I felt about Math on this day, the 21st of December of the year 2011. Hang on... in a year, wouldn't the world end on this exact date? Hahaha. Anyway. It would also be fun to look back at this when that time comes. And if ever I do... couple of things I want myself to know about how I spent the day one year before the supposed end of the world.

1. I woke up at around half past seven because my eldest brother came over to pick up Blake who slept over last night. He was still wearing his long-sleeved, soft, jammies.

2. I cleaned my bedroom and closet. Yes, the ones mentioned above.

3. I played Bleach: Soul Ignition and leveled up a lot of characters in order to unlock most of the level-up grid pathway things.

4. I watched How I Met Your Mother season 5 and 6.

5. I went on Omegle and chatted with a racist party company driver. We talked about his work for a couple of minutes and then when he asked where I was, I told him 'the Philippines' and he disconnected without another word. I don't know if he was being racist or not, but let's say he was.

6. It is the first time since I had returned home that I used the desktop and will continue the Alice episode.

7. I also read Bleach manga.

Thank you and good day.